Let's Talk About Rugby

Rugby might be more fun to watch than American football. I'm sorry, America. Really I am.

In the scrum of my heart, I will always hold a special place for the game who's rules I learned at my mother's knee (American football...it's a complicated story). But learning about Rugby slowly over the course of the BBC's coverage of the 6 Nations tournament this year has really opened my eyes to the awesomeness of the game.

Before BBC America's coverage this year, my only exposure to rugby was listening to my cousin back out of our WoW raids because he had to go to his roommate's rugby games. And there was the one time we stumbled on a game in progress in Stanley Park in Vancouver...but that ended... interestingly...

Anyways, BBC America did us all a favor this year and played some of the games for us Yanks. What a treat.

The captains for this year's 6 Nations Tournament

My main problem with American football has always been that the game just takes way too long. The players spend a lot of time standing around on the field, waiting for the game to start, or restart, or for a referee to explain a penalty, or for the kicker to get his stuff together, or for an injured player to get up, or for the quarterback to make up his mind.... Basically there's a lot of standing around.

This is what a football game looks like. People standing on the field.

I've always wished that football games would just play all the way through. Rugby does this. None of the 6 Nations games I watched this year went over their 80 minute running time. The players roughed around on the field for a 40 minute half, took a break, and then finished up with another 40 minute half. 80 minutes of non-stop action. Beautiful.

Even when there are injured players on the field, the game doesn't stop, they just play around them.

Rugby is essentially the brutal older brother of American Football. The brother that doesn't screw around with protective gear or elaborate rules, he just likes to pound on people and run around with a ball. The first game of rugby I watched had a guy jump in the air and put his cleats in another player's face. The cleated guy was bleeding all over the place as they walked him off the field, the game continuing behind him, and the player who did the kicking? Kept going and I'm pretty sure he scored.

Cleat. To. The. Face.

The reined in feeling of American football is a detriment to the sport. These are powerful men who should be able to bludgeon each other. The game is essentially an evolution of the gladiatorial sports where people used to kill each other in front of crowds. It's stylized war on the field. But it's a war with its teeth removed, hampered by the addition of so many rules, so many penalties, and so many pads.

So many.

Rugby is the less evolved version of this, its basic features apparent in our dearly beloved NFL, but its evolution seems to have stopped right after "killing is wrong" but before "let's put on so many pieces of plastic we no longer feel the hits."

If this seems to be a disservice to our football players, it's because it is. If our players ran at each other during a kick-off instead of away from each other, I think we'd be closer to the game's potential. But right now watching a game of professional football is just watching grown men who are being paid a lot of money run around encased in plastic. Sometimes they get to touch the ball. Most often they stand there and watch as the ball is set up for another down. And another. And another. The monotony is tiring and ultimately boring.

At least in rugby everyone jumps on the man with the ball and when the ball moves to the next guy, it starts over, a slow painful crush of men making its way down the field. But at least it's a crush of men in constant motion. And their little shorts are a lot cuter than those football cropped leggings of awful.

See? Shorts.

Not that there's nothing wrong with rugby. It's really disorienting to watch what seems to be a slapdash game when you're used to the slow march of a professional football game. The announcers, rather than explain what's going on, seem to just comment on the team's standings or on what the referee has said in the past rather than give poor, clueless me an idea as to the strategy of what's going on or even just an overview.

I learned more from the few post-show reviews tailored to us American viewers than from watching each of the games in its entirety.

Ultimately, I won't turn down watching a game of football. It's a part of my heritage and I do like that I at least know what's going on. But after the season is done, I will definitely turn over to the rugby league and watch as men pummel each other down the field.

Plus, the eye candy is so much better when they're not wearing helmets. :)