The Sparkly Underwear of Life: A Metaphor

I am wearing sparkly, orange underwear today.  

Bear with me, I swear I’m going somewhere with this. 

I am wearing sparkly, orange underwear today and they improve my mood. 

Let me back this up. 

When you’re young, you do things because they make you happy. Like…running through your backyard in a bathing suit covered in mud just because it feels awesome, or listening to ELO on repeat because the lyrics tickle that happy place that resides just east of your heart but above your belly-button. 

Stuff like that. 

When you get a little older (I am saying this relatively because I still listen to “Mr. Blue Sky” on excessive repeat) that turns into “silly stuff” that has to be “left behind” because it’s not “seemly” (and apparently we are all also straight out of Regency England. Again, bear with me). 

Here’s where the underwear come in.  

It’s an old trick us gals learn right around the time life starts getting a little impossible: even if everything sucks today, at least you know you’re wearing cute undaroos. The point isn’t for anyone to see them, it’s for You. Capital “y” and everything. You know that underneath it all, you’re garbed in the protective power of Captain Planet panties or perhaps the sexy, lacy filigree that makes a lot of women stand straighter in their pencil-skirts. If we are wearing awesome undergarments, we can’t get brought all the way down. 

So today, my sparkly orange underpants kept the dismal qualities of Tuesday a nice distance from my brain. Even when things were going wrong - spreadsheets not opening, the SSA giving me a hard time over the phone, people not returning email - even with all that going on in the background, I knew that beneath my sensible brown slacks there was a glittery surprise that no one but me knew about. A brightly-colored, anti-corporation set of undies that laid down a cover fire of Awesome on the Suck that was my day. 

So. Sparkly, ruffly, crazy-colored underwear are what do it for me, but this is a trick I think everyone should utilize.  

What is your personal secret-weapon against the doldrums of life? Is it a cat gif that you hide on your desktop, taking a peek at it when things get unbearable? Is it the Hershey’s Kiss at the bottom of your coffee mug? Perhaps you wear a set of neat socks to work to stave off the impending cloud of Corporate Doom.  

Whatever it is, always remember to have your “sparkly underwear” in that Toolbox those corporate types are so eager to have you bring places. Sure, bring patience and understanding and a knowledge of Windows Office Suite. But don’t forget your metaphorical panties, because trust me, they make getting through the day a lot easier sometimes.